hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize