That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize