If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize