Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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