her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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