Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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