a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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