apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize