Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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