it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
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I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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