I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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