There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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