He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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