ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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