birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize