i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
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When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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