Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
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When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize