Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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