my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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