I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize