Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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