meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize