The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
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whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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