Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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