You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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