cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize