I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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