He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize