my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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