i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize