toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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