when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
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Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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