I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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