You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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