the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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