she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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