we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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