For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize