the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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