Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize