didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize