Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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