Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
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I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize