i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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