we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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