Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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