My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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