is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize