is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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