So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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